You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
