mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
