We should be called the Road Head Warriors
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It's shark week go big or go home
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
