I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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