can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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