we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
