I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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