woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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