I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
this is an emotional support booty call
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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