We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
