Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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