It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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