i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
