It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
