My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
