if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
she pinky promised me she was 18
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
