smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
