I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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