this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Randomize
