Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
