I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
