would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
