Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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