So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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