and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
