I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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