I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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