finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
