Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
