So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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