I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
