dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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