his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
