sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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