and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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