What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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