just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
