watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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