She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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