Non-Jews are for practice
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
