you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
