it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
jump out the window naked night went bad
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