I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
