dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
