those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
