the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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