3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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