Your mouth is God's brothel.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
