Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
