I accidentally had phone sex last night
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
