ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
