You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
