is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
