Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
of course. lets lasso hookers.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
