what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
