i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
