every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
My ATM looks so different sober.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
