This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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