Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
splinters make it hard to masturbate
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize