I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
